oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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