Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
