I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
