if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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