I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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