i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
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