A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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