dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
