Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
