haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
