I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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