She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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