It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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