just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You know, be my cock's hype man.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
