i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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