i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
