just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
