Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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