are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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