I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
