I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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