he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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