He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
