I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
