I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I have fence marks all over my body
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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