I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
