Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
