You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
