did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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