people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
