and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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