I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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