Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
They have beer where we have blood.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
