sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
