whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
