in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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