She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
