and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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