We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
