His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
