Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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