There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
