I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
