a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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