so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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