I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
