You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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