WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
