i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
