you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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