K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
