No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
