I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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