Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
