Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
