He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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