Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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