dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
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