i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it was like eating out sand paper
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
