I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
