You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
