We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
