How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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