i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
