What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
