i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
