Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
